


stains on the wall

by catsandanimenerd



Series: Mistake Messenger [6]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, actually i just needed a pick me up, holy fucking shIT this is REALLY REALLY self indulgent, mc has a name, this is a coping fic too i guess, today was a bad day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2018-09-23 01:54:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9635681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catsandanimenerd/pseuds/catsandanimenerd
Summary: Saeyoung never wants to see her like this, but it’s an all-too common sight in the Choi household.





	

“ _ Can you co-come pick me-pick me up right now? _ ” is the first thing he hears when he answers the phone. Dread coils in his stomach like a snake, hissing up at him from within. He barely glances at the time, eight-thirty in the evening, before he’s standing and vaulting over his chair, bare feet slapping against the ground painfully. He passes Saeran on his way out the door, and his twin recoils from the heartbroken look on his face. 

(Saeyoung can only hear her panicked breaths in his ear, the distant sound of yelling in the background, and his blood freezes in his veins. She’s murmuring something under her breath, and he’s not sure if she’s trying to calm herself or him.)

“Stay on the phone with me,” he says tightly, shoving the keys in the ignition of the closest car, switching the phone to speaker in a panicked rush. The muscles in his leg jump erratically and he groans as he speeds out of the garage.

“ _ Ok _ ,” she breathes, shuffling on the other end. 

The drive to Haneul is a blur, marked only by the sounds of her moving around in her house. Saeyoung tenses and drives faster whenever he hears her talking to someone else, her voice trembling. He’s never been a fan of speed limits, and the entire concept drains out of his mind the longer he’s forced to listen to Haneul’s ragged breaths.

She’s standing outside in the cold wind when he arrives, her phone tucked protectively against her ear. She straightens her posture as he rolls to a stop and jogs over to the passenger side of the sports car in a hurry, her shoulders tense. 

“ _ Thank you _ ,” she whispers into her phone as she opens the door, ending the call abruptly. Saeyoung turns on the overhead light, sucking in a sharp breath as he catches sight of her red-rimmed eyes and ruby cheeks.

“What happened?” he asks, hands gentle as they roam her face. Haneul closes her eyes and attempts to control the sniffle that rises out of her throat. She fails, and a sob bursts free, tears falling once more. 

“I don’t-I don’t-I can’t-” she stutters, and his heart  _ aches _ . 

“Shh, shh, it’s ok,” Saeyoung murmurs, reaching over the seat and pulling her into his chest. She shudders and melts into his embrace, starved for a sympathetic touch. His hand threads lightly through her hair, fingers scraping against her scalp. 

“Can we-can we lea-ave now?” she asks after a moment, her trembling dying down. Saeyoung hums and pulls away slowly, his hand tilting her face up so gently that it hurts. He presses a chaste kiss to her forehead, sighing against her damp skin.

“Of course honey. Where do you want to go?” he asks, putting the car in reverse. Haneul dutifully pulls her seat belt over her body, hands falling limp in her lap.

“Anywhere but here,” she answers dully, sniffing pathetically. Saeyoung nods, his heart breaking all over again.

* * *

He takes her to a fast food restaurant, first, knowing how much energy she loses after crying. The heat in his car is unbearable, and yet Haneul is still shivering in the cute pink coat he bought her two months ago. He grabs one of her hands in his as they wait for the car in front of them to order, pulling the appendage towards his mouth. Saeyoung kisses each knuckle carefully, uncaring of the cold seeped into her skin.

“Are you up for some ice cream too?” he asks, gentle, watching her out of the corner of his eye. Haneul purses her lips, shifting in her seat awkwardly.

“No, but-but Saeran will want some,” she says in a small voice, and it sounds painful to his ears. He squeezes her hand then turns his head to order.

The car soaks up the smell of greasy food, and by the time they return to Saeyoung’s bunker, their stomachs are rumbling in unison. Saeyoung offers a shy grin and a laugh as he turns the car off, and Haneul manages a small smile in return. 

(His heart mends a little, at the sight, and he has to restrain himself from wrapping Haneul up and never letting her go. There’s time for that later.)

“Where are your shoes?” she asks quietly, one hand lacing through his fingers, red eyes staring at the ground. Saeyoung glances down at his feet then shrugs.

“Dunno, wasn’t thinking too much when I left,” he answers honestly, and a pretty blush lights up Haneul’s face. He nearly trips over his feet at the look on her face, her clammy hand grounding him. 

Saeyoung leads his girlfriend towards the kitchen, where Saeran stands guard over a familiar mug. Saeyoung gapes at his brother, pulling his occupied hand to his chest in mock shock.

“Saeran, you devil, you,” he teases gently, and a giggle rises out of Haneul’s mouth. Saeran’s pale face turns beet red and he glares, though it lacks any real maliciousness.

“What the hell are you going on about now?” he asks, arms crossed over his chest and a scowling painted across his face.

“ _ Obviously _ , you’re trying to seduce my my girlfriend from underneath my nose! Why else would you make her tea, hm?” he says in an exaggerated manner, waving their connected hands around theatrically. Haneul lightly bats at his chest with the other hand, rolling her eyes at him.

“Ignore him Saeran,” she says to him, waving Saeyoung’s antics off. “But thank you, for the tea,” she continues shyly, squeezing Saeyoung’s hand tightly in her own. He squeezes back, thumb rubbing soothing circles into her skin. 

“....you’re welcome,” Saeran mumbles, and Haneul finally deflates, her body swaying lightly. Saeyoung helps her settle down at the table, a steadying hand on her back. She drags air through her lungs shakily, her arms trembling as she pulls off her winter gloves. Her spinner ring sits heavy against her index finger, a comforting weight. 

“Come on, let’s get you fed,” Saeyoung tells her, pulling out the food he bought. He hands Saeran his melted ice cream, shrugging apologetically at his twin. 

“I didn’t-I didn’t have a good day,” she eventually tells him around her burger, noisily swallowing it. Saeyoung frowns but remains quiet. In his corner of the kitchen, Saeran watches.

“I went into work early, and as soon as we opened I had to deal with angry customers one after the other. It really-really shook me up you know? I can’t-can’t handle it. And then-then I accidentally told-told my coworker about-about my mental issues, and I never wanted that. I don’t want them to know, and it’s making me sick just thinking about it. And-and just now, my brother got lost coming home and-and it doesn’t make sense for my parents to yell at  _ me _ . I didn’t-didn’t get him lost but when they talk like that it just-just makes me think it’s my fault. And I know I’m being stupid but it was just-just too  _ much _ ,” she tells them, visibly becoming more and more distraught the longer she talks. Saeyoung collapses into the chair next to her, and she slips between his arms easily, her breathing erratic. 

“Shh, shh, it’s over now,” he murmurs, rocking them gently. Haneul shudders before wrapping her arms around him, squeezing so tightly that her arms ache.

“I don’t want to live there anymore,” she confesses hotly, burying her head into his chest. Saeyoung wilts, trapping her against him, as if to hide her from the rest of the world. 

(Saeran looks away from the scene, bugs crawling down his back. He doesn’t belong, not in  _ this _ moment, and there’s an ache in his chest and jealousy in his heart as he stares at the stains on the wall.)

“You _won’t_ live there forever,” Saeyoung promises lowly, pressing his lips against her head, tracing a path down the side of her face, against her jaw, his motions slow and tender. Haneul exhales sharply, glancing up at him from underneath her eyelashes, and he’s so stricken by the emotions swirling in her eyes.

“Do you promise?” she asks, and Saeyoung is ten again, curling up under the blanket, murmuring to Saeran and making promises he can’t keep. 

(There’s fear in his body and soul, because the last time he made a promise he failed.)

(But he’s older now, stronger, and Haneul is his family now and he  _ never  _ wants to see his family shattered ever again.)

“Cross my heart and hope to die,” he swears seriously, searching Haneul’s eyes for the demons plaguing her mind. He leans forward, cautious, chest tight as he pulls her lips with his teeth. She shudders in his grasp and tilts her head towards him, gasping on his tongue. 

(And it helps, she thinks as Saeyoung runs his fingers down her sides, to be in his presence, to have his hands on her hips even as the sensation sends unpleasant tingles in her arms and her back. It helps her head and heart to lean against the side of his neck, press her mouth to the sharp angle of his jaw, even as her lungs fill with carbon dioxide and steal her breath away.)

(Because she knows that Saeyoung never turns his back once he’s dedicated, and he’s so, so  _ in love _ with her that it scares her as much as it soothes her, and so she allows his hands to touch her even as it burns. She allows his warmth to sink into her bones and warm her from the inside.)

(But most importantly of all, she allows him into her heart even when her demons poke and prod and taunt, and tell her how much of a mistake it is to let him in.)

**Author's Note:**

> i just,,,, had such an Awful day today and I needed some kind of comfort,,,,,,so i wrote this,,,,,basically the same thing that happened to haneul happened to me except i accidentally outed myself to a coworker and it's making me really, really sick to my stomach :((


End file.
